Step by step

I submitted my final dissertation last week. It was a huge sense of accomplishment and relief. My decision to rejoin college (online) was the right decision. The last two years were different. I indulged myself in journals and papers. I remember my first weekly assignments and essays. It was a huge task for me to write a paragraph, and structure words, sentences, paragraphs, and an essay. And last week, I submitted my 15,000-word dissertation. I clicked 'submit'. And now I am waiting for my result.

In the last two years, I realised that reading is romanticised and it is not as easy as it appears. To learn from reading requires understanding, which comes from deliberation and dedication. Academic papers were difficult to digest and I had to re-reading and master note-taking. Finally, writing is the highest form of knowledge. Good writing requires a lot of reading (re-reading) and massive writing, rewriting and editing.

For now, I am enjoying my Dashain, without assignments and without academic deadlines. My iPad ownership has been transferred to my daughter. I promised her that she would receive my iPad as soon as I completed my course. She asked, "Am I getting it in the morning or at night?" I gave her 3 days earlier, with a time cap per day.

This writing has been a test of patience and resilience. It’s an opportunity to reflect, to let go of perfectionism, and to trust that I’ve given it my all. My work is now out there, subject to the judgment of others, but I can’t control the outcome any more. In many ways, completing a thesis is just like completing any long-term goal. It’s about embracing the process, learning from the experience, and then letting go once the work is done. So here I am, waiting for the results. It’s a limbo filled with anticipation and nervous energy, but it’s also a time of reflection on how far I’ve come. Regardless of the outcome, I know that this chapter has made me stronger, more focused, and better equipped for the next challenge on the horizon.

For now, I breathe a little easier, knowing that I did my best. I cherish this journey as an important step forward of my life and career.

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