The Kindness Test

Being a parent is an amazing experience. We learn about childhood more than we ever lived it ourselves, yes, that famous cliché. But the reality is that raising a child is not a child’s job. It requires patience, wisdom, self-control, emotional intelligence, and many superpowers, all at once in one person. I may be exaggerating a little, but not by much.

Here is my personal story, a few days ago. The scene began when I returned home from the office. My expectations were very reasonable. My kids would be sitting quietly, homework done, book in hand, perhaps reading something inspiring. Maybe even smiling.

Reality, as usual, had other plans.

My daughter was watching YouTube. Not educational YouTube, but those videos where kids go shopping, shout at the camera, throw things around, and are rude to each other. I hate those videos. I asked the obvious question: “Have you done your homework?” The answer was a confident “Nope.” I checked my son, who is on video game. I did not even ask the usual, "Have you done your homework? question.

All the stress from the office had accumulated. My voice became louder (I think). I ordered her to sit down and do her homework. She sat down, angry. I stood there, annoyed. A perfect start to a peaceful evening.

I watched her write. Or at least attempt to write. No focus. Handwriting that looked like it was done during an earthquake. I asked her to erase and rewrite it. She sighed dramatically and asked me to bring her eraser.

I searched. Table. Bag. Floor. Nothing. The eraser had gone missing, most probably, she had lost it at school. I reminded her, in my typical parent's voice, about taking care of her belongings. That reminder turned into a lecture. The lecture turned into an argument.

Then came the tears. She cried. I got angrier. A classic parent-child duet. Back and forth, question and reasoning, attack and defend.

And then she said on expected, through her tears, shouting,

“I tested your kindness, and you failed.”

I froze. That one sentence hit me harder. I was stunned. At the same time, I wondered where she learned such dramatic dialogue delivery. Was it YouTube again? Or is this what kids are taught these days?

Jokes aside, her words forced me to rewind the last ten minutes of my life. My tone. My words. My actions. It was a hard realisation that I wasn’t kind. I took a long breath. I smiled, trying to console her. And I told her, with a bit of guilt, that she was right. But I also promised her that I would pass her test. And I promised to myself that I won’t just pass the test, I’ll top it.

Let me follow one of the virtues - Courage!

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